Day 4: 5th August, 2008
There are moments when you hate your life. The sheer pressure of coming up with the goods, the anxiety …the daunting question ..if you will ever succeed.
Afternoon came, and I was pondering over my project report. I feel tensed and I curse my luck. I think to myself how unlucky I’ve been in life.
A show on the idiot box catches my eye. It’s a documentary on Kenya, focusing on an inter clan violence. After watching 10 minutes of the show, I was shocked, I trembled, tears rolled down my face. A teacher was narrating the story; he was reliving those torturous memories. I quote him “I saw the soldiers in their uniform, with their powerful guns and spears, I knew something was amiss. I shouted at the children to run, the children who were about 8 or 9 understood me and ran, the younger children did not understand me…..they got slaughtered.” The show then reveals more horrendous events. A child, she looks 5 or 6 has her arms extended, shows the scars that will remain all her life. Another boy shows the bullet wounds he suffered, the host looks at him with horror, and the boy smiles back. The strength and the courage that the boy shows in adversity leave me speechless.
The teacher then leads the host towards the mass grave where many of the people have been buried without even a proper burial. Not even a cross as a testimonial for their existence. All that is left behind are broken dreams and shattered hearts which will weep a thousand years.
The beauty of the world is that even after people have lost everything they still rebuild their life, on hope, on a distant future that seems so vague. The truth is that people still live, without arms, without eyes, without familia and they still survive. I remember the words of a scholar” we shouldn’t waste time thinking of what we don’t have or what we’ve lost but we should embrace what we have with grace. “
I remember seeing videos of tsunami and quake victims who have lost their home, family, wealth …everything that was life to them. Even in the darkest hour I see that twinkle in their eye, the will to start over, start over again. They sing in their hearts….the day will come …that day will come when I will smile again… I will not stop… I will not lose hope…
I am sitting here in my comfy house, with food to eat, clothes to wear, with people who care about me. What right do I have to curse myself? I think about those unfortunate souls who have nothing but a prayer of hope. A glimmer of light, that shines, that would take them through ...that would carry them across the pain and suffering. Life is always about getting through the hard bits. And once you are over the hard bits you relish in the glory and you want to relive it again, you go in search of more challenges….people who cant walk will learn to fly, people who cant see will dream, those dreams will rebuild the shattered houses, lost smiles will come back again, the scars might remain but it will only make them stronger.